Oh how I have missed you. I didn't think I'd find myself here again any time soon (I'm working on my book, sorry!), but I read an article today, and I had to come out of hiding for this very important bulletin: Don't tell me about my vagina! Especially, if you're going to do it like this: http://www.valleyadvocate.com/article.cfm?aid=16315
I was reading this article this morning, and all I could think was, "There is no way that this was written by someone who actually HAS a vagina." Because nobody who is lucky enough to be a part of the pussy parade would ever talk about her coochie that way, right?! Wrong. And so, in defense of the diamonds at the meeting of my thighs, this was the response that I posted:
As
a professed pussy lover, I have to say that this article hardly makes me want
to call up my ex and put my face between her legs! When you call it
"salsa," and "vaginal discharge," and use words such as
"acidic bacteria" and "nasty intruders," it's no wonder
that men everywhere are looking for a get-out-of-jail-free card! Now, I confess
that I don't know much about "blow jobs," but back in the days before
I realized that it was more than just the smell of them (and all of that
hair...everywhere) that made me un-attracted to men, if someone had described
semen as a "milky acidic substance that smells sort of bleachy, with a
consistency somewhere between snot and hair gel" I would have come to
terms with my homosexuality a lot sooner, if you know what I mean.
When
they are clean, most vagina's have a mild scent, and the natural lubricant that
they produce is warm, smooth, and can have a variety of lovely tastes, from
sweet and salty to sour and tart; vagina much more closely resembles my
favorite GoBerry flavor than it does a Bueno y Sano fish taco (although I love
the fish tacos from Bueno!) As the walls of the vagina contract and expand with
arousal, pleasurable textures and contours can be felt, and moisture often
increases with arousal. Vagina is a delicacy, and just like many exotic
cuisines, it is an acquired taste. And if men hope to get their ladies (or
gentleman) anywhere near that bleachy squirt gun and chicken-skin ball sack,
it's a taste that I suggest they acquire.
For clarification, Bueno y Sano is a burrito shop, and GoBerry is a frozen yogurt joint.
So, Grey People, read the article, and tell me what you think! And if you feel the desire, stand up for your pussy, and for pussies everywhere. Because, I don't know about you, but my Va-Jay-Jay does not now, nor has it EVER tasted like salsa!
Peace
and love and bugs named Doug,
GreyGirl
No comments:
Post a Comment